My Postulancy

Luningning M. Balagdan
Postulant



In my journey in the postulancy, I experienced joys and struggles. These experiences brought me closer to God.

What are my joys? I feel God’s presence in my sisters. I am accepted as part of the community. I make my sisters happy through my sense of humor. These are but a few of the joys I experienced in my postulant’s community.

What are my struggles? I struggle to focus in prayer. I struggle to express my feelings. But little by little, I learn to focus and to express myself. These give me courage to move ahead in my journey.

Postulant’s Community

Roxan T. Sarmiento
Postulant

Living in the postulant’s community gives me a wide range of realization that leads me to true self-knowledge and thus, enabling me to give myself wholly in my apostolate.

The many experiences I’ve encountered here are just revelations of what and who I am, far from the false perception I had of myself before entering. There were many “I thoughts” and “I believes” that were purified, and these purifications were indeed painful to accept at first.

These revelations became my framework in writing my new script of life. With the grace and help of God, I am recreating myself according to what God wants of me –to be truly His beloved child.

Becoming so aware of this truth, I am so compelled to bring something back to God. He is indeed so good, so generous, and so full of love. He even gives me chances and opportunities daily to thank Him and adore Him through the people I see. Wholeheartedly, I give myself to them just as God has given Himself to me.

Praised be His name forever.

Reflections on Palautian Spirituality

Sr. Rofina Mariani Uge, CM
Indonesia

Palautian spirituality is the outcome of two currents which merge and fuse in unity, they are: the Teresian Carmelite legacy and, the charismatic experience of Fr. Palau.

The Carmelite Teresian legacy is an integral part of Fr. Palau’s life because his religious formation was based on it. During the period of his religious formation and community life as well as during his exclaustration, he lived faithfully and intensively the Carmelite ideal with an eminently contemplative orientation.

He searched his life’s ideal; which later became his beloved object… “In the austerities of religious life, in fasting, in silence, and in poverty” (MR I, 3). Since then his soul has been steeped with the spirit of the Teresian Carmel.

His understanding of the mystery of the church and his union with her in faith, hope and charity, fulfills his long and intense search… “I sought her and I found her…. I say my love one, and I united myself to her in faith, hope and love”. (MR I, 3) After the long journey of anxious search, “she let herself be seen and known.” Recalling the delightful and longed for encounter, he writes, “At last, after forty years in search of you, I found you. I found you because you came to meet me, I found you because you let yourself be known …” (MR 22, 17)

He discovered in the Church the final meaning of his life, the center of his existence, the guiding light of his pilgrimage, the ideal that gave meaning to his entire mission.

The Church for him was not only and ideal but a living reality, the supreme and final object of his love. He was convinced of his mission “to letting the people know that you –Church- are infinitely beautiful and loveable and to request them to love you” (MR 12, 2). This is the object of his mission to fulfill the precept of love of God and of neighbors. Since then, the Church became everything for him. “…I live and will live for her, I live and I shall die for her”. (MR 1:29) marked his total surrender to the Church.

Reflections on Palautian Spirituality

Sr. Agatha, CM
Korea

The elements of Palautian spirituality are clearly shown in the following passages in the writings of Fr. Palau:

 His passion was centered on the search for the beloved: “Apart from the world, withdrawn in the convent, I inquired about the beloved object, I searched for her. And, who would think of such a thing! I searched for her in the austerities of religious life, in fasting, in silence, in poverty; I searched for her and I found her…! I saw my loved one, and I united myself to her in faith, in hope and love! Her presence satisfied my passion, and with her I was happy, her beauty was sufficient for me. God and my neighbor, or rather the Catholic Church seemed to me as beautiful as a divinity. She was covered under the veil of mystery and allowed herself to be seen in the obscurity of night, but it was not so dark that one can not distinguish the infinite perfection which adorned her and which made her infinitely loveable. I found my happiness and blissfulness in her; I was happy!”

 Once found, he offered his life for the beloved: “I give you what I am, what I have and desire all that I could have. I give myself to you, Oh holy Church, in love, obedience, chastity and poverty…. Just as I am I give myself to you, and I am not better it is my own fault; make me pure, chaste, holy and perfect, then I will be”.

 The object of his love: union of God and neighbor or the Church where Christ is the head and the people forming one body with Christ.

Reflections on Palautian Spirituality

Sr. Bridget Eze, CM
Nigeria

From early childhood Fr. Francisco Palau was aware of a burning force of Passionate Love which animated his life as echoed in his writing “My Relations with the Church”: “God wrote this law with his own finger in the stratums of my heart: you must love with all your strength (Mt.22:27). And this efficacious voice created an immense passion in it which made itself felt form my infancy and developed in my youth. I, when I was young love with all my strength because the Law of nature impels me with irresistible impact. What did I love? Who was the beloved object?” This quest for the object of his love consumed him and moved him into a determined search for the object of his love that constitutes the meaning of his existence.

He searched for his beloved through the austerities of religious life, in fasting, in silence in poverty. “I search for her and found her! I saw my loved one and I united myself to her in faith, hope and love”. At this time of search, Fr. Palau was attentive to the voice and action of the Holy Spirit within him, and to the signs of the times revealed in the external circumstances of the historical period. He fought zealously to defend the Catholic faith in Spain with all his might; which at that time or instance he knew as a divine institution. Within forty years of search the object of his love was revealed to him in his spiritual conversation as the Church. “Your beloved exists and lives; she is a moral being, perfect and complete just as an individual. Your beloved is God and neighbor…This perfect being is the Holy Church.”

This encounter became the central focus of his life and the object of his relations in his spiritual and apostolic exercises. In this spirit he identified his mission as “My mission is to announce to the people that you are infinitely beautiful and lovable, and to tell them to love you. Love of God and love of neighbor: this is the object of my mission”. In this authentic, determined and humble manner, Fr. Palau sought and discovered his beloved and was transformed in her who is the moving force behind his perseverance, spiritual zeal, apostolic services and paternity in the Church; and he is alive even today.

Reflections on Palautian Spirituality

Sr. Veneranda T. Ervite, CM
Philippines

“My heart is consumed by the passion of love, is detached from every temporal and earthly object; but it did not know its Beloved and not knowing her, what madness, what illusions, what wanderings, what ravings”!

Love impassioned Fr. Palau to search for the object of his love. He spent long and difficult years in this search. There were so many trials and challenges but these even made him more and more determined. The practice of virtues, the solitude and his total surrender are the forces that helped him moved on and which made him remain faithful.

He searched for his beloved in Carmel. He searched for her in the austerities of religious life, in fasting, silence, poverty. He united himself with his Beloved in faith, hope and love. However, his anxiety for clarification, his desire for something more concrete did not rest.

Finally, he encountered his beloved, the Church. The Church, God and neighbors; Christ the head and the people forming one body with Christ. This is the reality that gives fullness to his capacity to love. And Mary is the perfect model of this Church.

Reflections on Palautian Spirituality

Sr. Apichaya N. Poolpokpol, CM
Thailand

Palautian Spirituality has its center on Fr. Palau’s strong idea of the church as the mystical body of Christ, the mystery of communion which he expressed in his love in the precept of loving God and neighbors by serving and doing acts of charity through fraternal love and works of mercy which are part of our active life and fruit of our solitary and contemplative life.

Along his journey, he never gave up his authentic zeal even how he faced many trials and difficulties, his happiness last forever because his hope and search for meaning in life had possessed and dominated him. His passion of faith, hope and love united him to the Church which is infinitely lovable. Fr. Founder also presented Mary as reflective of the holiness of the Church.

We as daughters of Fr. Palau may try to live out this passion in its uniqueness and follow the footsteps of our Founder by practicing it faithfully and joyfully so that our Congregation may be a visible sign of faith, hope and love in this present time.

Reflections on Palautian Spirituality

Sr. Rosenoni B. Combo, CM
Philippines

Fr. Palau, since childhood have been possessed and dominated by a passion called love. God wrote this within his heart: “You must love with all your strength…” (Dt. 6:5; Mt. 22: 37) This powerful voice created a great passion in him. What did he love? Who was his beloved object?

Fr. Palau searched for his beloved in the austerities of religious life, in fasting, in silence, in poverty. At last after forty years in search for her, he found her because she came to meet him, and let herself be known. She was infinitely beautiful, loveable and delightful. The object of love of Fr. Palau is the Church where Christ is the head and the people forming one body with Christ. Love of God and love of neighbor cannot be separated. Because of this revelation, Fr. Palau was ready to surrender totally to his beloved. “I live and will live for her; I live and shall die for her.” (MR 1, 29)

Reflections on Palautian Spirituality

Sr. Regina, CM
Korea

Fr. Palau continually search to love and be loved (MR 1, 2) so he entered Carmel in spite of the difficult times for religious life, and he considered his profession irrevocable.

Palautian spirituality is deeply connected to Teresian Carmelite. Teresian spirituality is the root of Palautian spirituality. Fr. Palau has shown how deep has been his Carmelite formation and how he nurtured what he has received throughout his life (Letter …)

So the infusion of the essence of the Carmelite spirituality is seen in his foundational work (Letter 72, 2). In line with the Teresian tradition, the value or aspect of purification and conversion is given much importance, and also the renunciation and detachment from whatever hinders in following Christ. They imply ascetical effort. Sta. Teresa said of herself “I am a daughter of the Church.” Carmel included all things about love of God. It is a wide spirituality, but Carmel become more ecclesial through Sta. Teresa and then later through one of the sons of Sta. Teresa, Fr. Francisco Palau. One of the spirituality of Carmel is concretized in ecclesiality. It became unique through the charismatic experience of Fr. Palau (Letter 3; MR 4, 22). The ecclesiality is the center of convergence and origin of the whole Palautian spirituality, a life of intimacy with God and the life of service to the neighbors are the two channels of the same love to Christ and the members of his body the Church, therefore it is impossible to separate the love of God and the neighbors. From this profound ecclesial vision, the fusion of the interior life and apostolic activities arise. They are two expressions of the same love (Letter 88).

Reflections on Palautian Spirituality

Sr. Maria Fe Gatungan, CM
Philippines

For Fr. Palau the passion called Love possessed and dominated him since childhood. “You must love with all your strength”. This echoing voice created an immense passion which he felt form infancy and developed in his youth. As a young boy he has all the strength because of love, and nature impelled him to act upon it. His questions: what did I love; who was the beloved object, made him searched the more, a continuous search until he found it in the austerities of religious life, in fasting, poverty and silence. His spirit was transformed before the throne of God. Oh, Holy Church! This phrase he uttered when he found the object of his love after twenty years. It is a passion of love which developed his will to find nourishment rooted in deep faith, hope and love that he was able to recognize the beauty of God in the Church.

In his later years he was making effort to stir up his love fore Mary, he was searching for his beloved; he was searching for his spouse. In the end, the spouse showed herself with ever more clarity and love, the betrothal with her was ratified thru the theological virtues. Love consummated with the bonds of spiritual matrimony. His beloved appeared not as a lover, friend, bride or wife, but as the mother of an infinite member of peoples, as queen and lady in heaven and on earth and in the underworld. Fr. Palau’s object of love is the Church; he recognized that the only perfect and complete type which covers all aspects and dimension of the Church is Mary.

The Church was the ultimate end of his love and that was the unspeakable beauty which his heart searched for. This mystery of the Church is centered in communion, loving God and neighbor. This is the unique experience of Fr. Founder which differs from the other spirituality.

Reflections on Palautian Spirituality

Sr. Justina Apolonia Nio, CM
Indonesia

Fr. Palau said, “I, since childhood have been possessed and dominated by a passion that is Love” (MR p.747). In his youth, his heart nurtured a generous and growing passionate love for the Church. “Apart from the world, withdrawn into the convent to search for the Beloved in the austerities of the Religious life, in fasting, in silence, in poverty, I saw my loved one and I united myself to her in faith, hope and love” (MR p.748).

For 20 years, Fr. Palau was searching for the Beloved, the Church that is God and neighbor, the object of his love. He expressed his love for the Church through contemplation and action or prayer and mission (MR 756).

Reflections on Palautian Spirituality

Sr. Ma. Divina Gracia N. Gamarcha, CM
Philippines

Fr. Francisco Palau was a man of his time. He was very much aware of the realities that surrounded him, yet, with full conviction he chose to live the values he inherited from his pious family. He has a lot of dreams and was enthusiastic to discover the meaning of his own existence.

He confessed that since childhood, he was possessed and was dominated by a passion called love. Inspired by this irresistible force, he search for his beloved – the Church! He searched for her in the austerities of religious life, in fasting, silence, and poverty. He has an excellent attitude of listening to the Holy Spirit which in due time revealed to him the mission of becoming a father in the Church and of the Church.

Desire

God, I want to see the beauty of your countenance, I want to taste the sweetness of your mercy, I want to hear the rhythm of your breathing, I want to feel the throbbing of your pulse, and I want to smell the fragrance of your presence. This is my desire, my longing and dream and I know that this would be fulfilled at the time of your liking.

Palautian Spirituality

The defining element of the Palautian spirituality is the unique experience of Blessed Francisco Palau of the Church as his Beloved. His life was marked by an intense search for the Beloved which eluded him for 50 years (My Relations with the Church, 7, 14). He experienced the Church as a living reality, as one body where Christ is the head and the neighbor forming one body with Christ. The Church is a mystery of Communion; God and man united in one body. This is his spirituality, the inspiration that fired up not only his life but the lives of generation and generation of his followers.

Blessed Francisco Palau was fired up with love but at the beginning he does not know whom to really love. He spent the best years of his life in search for the beloved. He narrated in his diary about this experience: “God wrote this law with his own finger in the stratums of my heart: You must love with all your strength…And this efficacious voice created an immense passion in it, which made itself felt from my infancy and developed in my youth. I, when I was young, loved with all my strength, because the law of nature impelled me with irresistible impact. What did I love? Who was the beloved object? …Apart from the world, withdrawn into the convent, I enquired about the beloved object, I searched for her. And, who would think of such a thing! I search for her in the austerities of religious life, in fasting, in silence, in poverty; I searched for her and I found her..! I saw my loved one, and I united myself to her in faith, in hope and love! Her presence satisfied my passion, and with her I was happy, her beauty was sufficient for me. God and my neighbor, or rather the Catholic Church seemed to me as beautiful as a divinity. She was covered under the veil of mystery…I found my happiness and blissfulness in her; I was happy” (My Relations with the Church, Fragments I 2, 3).

His mission naturally flowed from that experience. It was the passion that fired up his preaching and his teaching. He wrote: “My mission is to announce to the people that you are infinitely beautiful and loveable, and to tell them to love you. Love of God and of neighbor: this is the object of my mission. And you are my neighbors forming in God only one thing” (My Relations with the Church, 12, 2).

The Church as mystery of communion, where Christ is the Head and the people forming one body with Christ, God and neighbor united as one body, is the focal point of Blessed Francisco Palau’s life and mission. It was the inspiration, the fire, the madness that energized everything he did in his lifetime.

Feast of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel

Theme: To be born anew with Mary

Today, we celebrate two special events, the feast of our Lady of Mt. Carmel, and our being born anew in Christ with Mary.

Our Constitutions tell us that Carmel looks on Mary as its Lady and Mother, Protector and Trusted Friend, and Model and Ideal of its life of consecration. Indeed having Mary in the midst of our communities, we are drawn much closer to His Son Jesus, our beloved.

In the Scriptures, only a few accounts are told about Mary. Nevertheless, when contemplated upon, these short stories bring inspiration, hope and example from which one can draw what and how it is to be born anew. For example the event of the Annunciation in the Gospel of Luke, Mary through her fiat allows life to spring forth from her. And I believe this is first and foremost what it means to be born anew with Mary – allowing ourselves to be channels of God’s grace were new life would gush forth. That is incarnating once again the Jesus in us.

Being born anew with Mary:

When one becomes bridge of peace and reconciliation, one is being born anew.
When one forgives and risks to love and trust again – one is being born anew.
When one affords to smile and celebrate life in the midst of challenges and difficulties – one is being born anew.
When one is able to die to one’s self, letting go of one’s selfish desires, going beyond one’s comfort zone for the greater good of all – one is being born anew.
Above all, when one is able to live courageously yet humbly placing one’s trust in the hands of the compassionate and ever faithful God so that others who come to her/his influence fully live and grow in faith and love, then one is truly being born anew.


Just like Mary in today’s Gospel who steadfastly stand at the foot of her Son in Calvary. It is he witnessing that revived and reunited the Disciples of Christ that eventually recreated and renewed them in faith, love and courage.

Are we born anew?

Let us ask the special grace to be born anew through the intercession of Mary, our Mother and our Lady of Mt. Carmel.

Liturgists: Sr. Sherna Advincula, C.M. and Sr. Amelita Berso, C.M.

Novena to Our Lady of Mt. Carmel - Ninth Day

Theme: Mary reconciles, recreates, celebrates

The late Cardinal Jaime Sin said: “A mother always unites.” Mary, true to her role, reconciles us to God and to one another. There are many apparitions that attest to this. For instance, the shrine of the Virgin of Lourdes in France has been known to be a pilgrimage site for many people who are searching for healing not only of sick bodies but even more, sick souls.

Nowadays, people come from broken relationship in varying degrees and stages of their lives. All seek for reconciliation. Certainly this most gentle mother will not delay her intercession with God for the relationship to be patched up or for someone who goes astray to be back in God’s fold.

For us Carmelite Missionaries, who are witnesses of communion, we look up to Mary and her witness to be reconciled in our relationship with our Beloved through fostering our relationship with each other. All along the reconciliation, we recreate our relationship into something better.

With Mary, we are enabled to be what we are meant to be: a community of love. Thus there is a reason for us to celebrate like Mary and with Mary. Let us proclaim the greatness of our Lord and rejoice with all our heart in God’s saving mercy and the wonders He has done in our life.


Liturgist: Sr. Olivia Uy, C.M.

Novena to Our Lady of Mt. Carmel - Eight Day

Theme: Mary, Exemplar of Community Living


The Wedding at Cana

Let me refresh to you an incident in the life of Mary when she was at Cana. There was a wedding. During that celebration, they ran out of wine. And Mary went to Jesus and told him that they ran out of wine. Jesus hesitated because his time has not yet come. She did not mind it, she believed in his Son, and she told the servants to follow whatever Jesus will tell them to do.

At that moment Jesus did his first miracle. He turned the water into wine.

There are two aspects here that exemplified how it is to live in community. One is real concern for the well being of others and the other is total trust in God. If these two go together, miracles can happen.

They said that miracles do happen to people who will make it happen. Think of an incident in community life; a moment when you were really concern of the well being of others and you were helpless to do anything about it and entrusted everything to God. Did a miracle happen? If not, les us ask ourselves, is my concern genuine and selfless? Is my trust in God strong and unwavering? We needed this in community life.


The Canticle of Mary

In the famous Canticle of Mary, we see the outburst of Mary’s joy. Mary was boasting not about herself but of what God did to her. She was favored by God and she did not hide her feelings. She let it out through a song.

Joy is an important aspect in community life. And joy is multiplied by the number of people you share it with. The treasures that we actually kept in our hearts are the moments of joy we share together. A few days ago we enjoyed so much looking at the talents of the children in all their innocence singing “I love you honey…” What really give us joy are not expensive things or success that tomorrow will not be remembered anymore but what we received from the Lord and are shared with others. We have God given talents to sing, to cook, to recite, to dance, to write, to play the guitar, etc.

The loss and finding of Jesus in the temple

In this event, Jesus decided to stay in Jerusalem without permission when his parents and all the relatives went home to Nazareth. When Mary and of course Joseph, discovered that Jesus was not with the caravan, they were so anxious and went back to look for him. She told Jesus how she felt but gave Jesus time to explain himself and then pondered in the silence of her heart the reason of his son.

This is another aspect that is important in community. There are so many times that we forget to ask permissions of the things we want to do but it should not be a cause of division in the community. Mary teaches us to give each other a chance to explain oneself and we might be surprised of the way God works through the seeming weaknesses of others.

The Visit of Mary to Elizabeth

Elizabeth was six months pregnant and Mary has just conceived. She rushed to the side of Elizabeth. Two women experiencing the same miraculous pregnancy needed each other’s company to confirm each others experience, to strengthen them from the unbelieving community, to keep their faith alive, and to inspire each other in the journey.
We needed this kind of friendship in community. A friendship that enriches ones experience of God, that keep ones faith in Him strong, a friendship that inspires to move on despite the setbacks that come along our way every now and then.

I invite you sisters to reflect on the other events in Mary’s life and discover for yourselves the rich message about community living.

The Announcement of the Angel to Mary about her mission

We also have Mary standing on the cross and Jesus giving her instruction on what to do after his death…

Even the way Mary received the visitors who went to see Jesus when he was newly born, is a great lesson for community living…

Mary is indeed exemplar of how it is to live in community. In this day of our novena we pray that like Mary we too may become source of joy, hope, love, understanding, inspiration, courage, and strength for one another in the community.

Liturgist: Sr. Rebecca Polinar, C.M.

Novena to Our Lady of Mt. Carmel- Seventh Day

Theme: Mary – Channel of Communion

As Carmelite Missionaries, we consider Mary as the Mother of the Church and model and channel of communion.

We all know that Mary is blessed among the women in Israel. She was chosen to be the mother of our Lord Jesus Christ. God has already plans for her since her conception. Do we think that Mary did not also suffer? But why did she persevere and why did we call her Channel of Communion?

If we will look back on the life of Mary particularly on how she became the Channel of Communion, we can say that even when she was just a child she was simple and prayerful. She has always the time to be with her God, to listen and to do His will. What she hears form the bottom of her heart, she lives it out and shares it to others. Her relationship with God reflects on how she deals and treats others. Being prayerful, charitable, simple and humble, Mary became the Channel of Communion. She has always a big heart to accept everybody especially the poor, the oppressed, the sick and rejected. She does not discriminate. What she hears and sees, even the most painful one, she just kept it in her heart and prayed for those who persecute her. If we try to see how Mary took the fate of her Son especially during His passion and death, we can definitely say that we did not hear anything from her. She forgives everybody sincerely without any judgment and criticism. She became the mother of the disciples of Jesus and the Mother of all. Mary is always there to help and teach us how to accept, forgive, love and be humble in order that we become united.

In our community, are we also channels of communion? What are the factors that hinder us to become one? Do we also live out our realization and reflections on the word of God daily? Or are we just deceiving ourselves and the people around us?

Sisters, we must not lose hope, Mary is here waiting for us. She is willing to help us so that we will become channels and instruments of communion. Are we willing to take the risk in letting go of our comfort zones in order to be born anew and to be channels of communion?

Liturgist: Sr. Josefina Pausal, C.M.

Novena to Our Lady of Mt. Carmel - Sixth Day

Theme: Mary - The Empowered Missionary

Liturgist: Sr. Ma. Rosa Cruza, C.M.

Novena to Our Lady of Mt. Carmel - Fifth Day

Theme: MARY, THE CONTEMPLATIVE DISCIPLE

Mary of Nazareth seems on the surface to be an ordinary Jewish woman whose life was indistinguishable from many others. She cooked, sewed and cleaned. She prayed, conversed and served the needs of her family. She won no awards and received no acclaim from the world in her day. Yet, what we see in the biblical stories of Jesus’ birth shows that Mary’s life was extraordinary.

Through God’s divine providence, Mary became the Spouse of the Holy Spirit by receiving in her womb the Son of God. In the silence of her Son’s infant life, she contemplated the astounding truths of heaven, turning them over in her mind and heart again and again. She is rightly called blessed, for she heard the voice of God and kept it. She clearly carried out the will of the Father and therefore it is a greater thing for her to be a disciple of Christ than to be His mother.

In most Masses celebrated in her honor, she is presented as one who shows us the example of a disciple, who is faithful to the words of life. She is one who by a unique gift of God was the Mother of Christ, and above all was His first and most perfect disciple. She continues to do so right through the agony of watching Him die and the ecstasy of knowing Him raised again.

May we imitate the example of Mary, our Blessed Mother, that we, too, may be the true disciples of her Son Jesus, eagerly hearing His words and putting them into practice.

Liturgist: Sr. Virginia Dolero, C.M.